Quoits, sometimes known as coits, the sport of kings or at the very least sailors is one of my passions.  I train for it for 12 months of the year to prepare for the annual “Bond Street Cup” (this year renamed the “Balvenie Street Cup”).  I’m a proud two time winner, but I’ve had a run of bad luck the last couple of years, having been linked to a blood doping scandal in 2006, and tasting bitter defeat in 2007.

This year would see yet another defeat at the hands of my many enemies, meaning I haven’t drank from the Bond Street Cup since 2005.  This stings and I have vowed to return in 2009 with a new drive.  I’ll be redoubling my Quoits training, and plan on coming back bigger and better than ever.

I don’t want to sound like an apologist, but I’ve been battling a torn scapula for nearly a year now, and I know that it threw off my throwing arm at least 2%.  The addition of the new pitch also played havoc with my game, and more than likely contributed to my defeat.

This year the luck of the draw saw me paired up with a new partner, rookie “Dave of the small hands”, and after an initial rules overview we began our first battle against my former partner Joanne and her partner Wosson.

After taking an early lead, we Joanne battled back with first a ringer, and then used chicanery and some previously unknown vegetarian super-power to score back-to-back ringers in the final two ends.

The final score was 15-7.  It’s the first time I’ve ever been knocked out in the first round, and I was totally unprepared for the severe depression which I fell into for the next two to three minutes.  I wasn’t sure what to do with my day, how would I go on?  Should I just go home?  How far away from civilization is Caledonia anyway?  What’s that, there’s a fair going on?

Luckily Kaylin pulled me out of it by finding some chalk, so we proceeded to draw on the sidewalk.  Okay, I drew, and she ran up and down the street with her “barrel feet” slapping on the cold concrete (she loved the sound of her bare feet on the sidewalk).

I had a chance to capture some video, and talk to my friends which was a lot of fun, and took some of the sting out of the loss.

Today I can look back and see where I went wrong, next year I’ll be better prepared and ready to make some major adjustments to my game.  The first step in my path to redemption will be the purchase of a regulation Quoits set, then I’ll start my extensive diet and exercise regime designed to build my body into a quoits hurling powerhouse.

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