About Me

Pale dude, real pale

I’m going to be bringing in a couple of slang “Londonisms” that my buddies and I were trying to introduce to the nation’s vocabulary back in the early 90’s (we got bored with using them however so they didn’t catch on.), we also tried to introduce Snap, which seems to be catching on several years later.

The words are:

Pale (n); slang for weak, or lame.

I.E. That’s just pale dude. Firing Raven was a pale decision on the part of the WWE. Mel Lastman’s excuses are getting paler every time.

Bucket (n, v) slang euphamism, shares the same connotation as the f-bomb, or the word “frig”.

I.E. (after bashing your finger with a hammer) BUCKET!!! (To connotate delight): That’s bucket awesome!

I think “pale” has a good chance of catching on since it’s time for the word “weak” to be retired (it’s so 2001). Pale could very well be the new weak.

Bucket might have a slightly harder time getting integrated, but I’m sure that we can get it in there.

Movies and TV

What is the Animatrix?

What is the Animatrix?

On February 4th, the world will find out…what a cool concept, the original Matrix used some pretty cool marketing to get the word out, but this time the Matrix is a phenomenon, so they’re releasing a bunch of Animated shorts on the web to hype The Matrix Reloaded (coming out in May) and The Matrix Revolutions (in December), and then they’re going to release it on DVD in June (capitalizing on the hype). Some of these shorts look really good, like Flight of the Osirus, which will be done by Square Studios, the dudes who did Final Fantasy.

Very cool indeed.


New template

I whipped up a new template tonight in preparation for my new site that will be going up next week. The all new Tales From The Darkside will have more of what you have come to expect, but with this Krunky new template! I’ll also be adding a comments link, and some other good stuff (search, etc).

The idea for this template will be that it is clean, it will be tiny in terms of download size, it will support Grey Matter, and it will use CSS to scale properly, which will enable it to display well on portable devices.

Peep the flattened (non-enhanced) template for now.

Which reminds me to check out Solar Dream Studios’ CSS tutorials.


Putting the debate to rest

It’s come to my attention that Jeff is STILL debating the fact that his team didn’t win the award for “most jobbers” in this year’s Royal Rumble. I thought it best to break down Jeff’s Team in order for him to see that it was a pretty frickin’ decent bunch of guys (oh, and Jeff has the nerve to argue this despite the fact that he won the award for guy who lasts the longest in RVD).

Bill DeMott – Former U.S. Champion in WCW. The U.S. Title was the equivalent of the Inter-Continental title. This guy loses his first match since his re-intro TONIGHT! That’s two months of squashing guys…jobber my @$$!

RVD – Multiple InterContinental champion in WWE, ECW TV champion, ECW Tag Team Champion

Rosey – Former Tag Team Champion WWE

Rikishi – Former Inter-Continental champion WWE, former Tag Team Champion WWE.

Kane – Former multi-time inter-continental champion. Multi-time tag team champion. WWE Heavyweight Champion for 24 hours in 1999.

So just to recap, every single member of Jeff’s team has held gold.

Team Darkside however had exactly two guys who have ever tasted gold in WWE (Booker T, the 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, 5 time WCW Champion, and who held all the gold in WCW at one time or another, who was tag champ with GoldDust, and Tommy Dreamer who won the now defunct Hardcore belt, and had a couple of belts in ECW). Nowinski, Cena, and Maven are rookies who haven’t even SNIFFED gold yet, and who won’t for at least another year.

Hell, a better case could be made for Team Josh, who had two guys untouched by gold in WWE, and who’s other players have held; Rey: Tag Gold, Matt Hardy: Tag gold, Inter-continental, Jeff Hardy: Tag gold, Hardcore, European.

So once and for all, Team Darkside held the most classically defined “Jobbers”, guys who have not held a belt, and who are regularly beaten on TV to get other guys over.

About Me Internet

I’m number 95!

I’m number 95!

I was named to’s 100 most influential wrestling writers list, and I’m number 95! My co-writer Josh Shiaman was named number 60 on the list.

Doesn’t mean a whole lot, I mean I’m not going to get a raise for it or anything, but it’s pretty cool anyway!

Movies and TV

The Royal Rumble

The Royal Rumble is by far my favourite WWE PPV of the year, I love the whole concept of the Rumble.

For the last couple of years, my friends and I have got together and made a few bets on the outcome. We all throw in five bucks, and draw numbers from a hat, the numbers correspond to a guy. This year there were four prizes.

1st prize: The Winner of the Rumble

2nd prize: The guy who lasts longest

3rd prize: The guy who eliminates the most wrestlers

4th prize: The team with the most jobbers.

Larry Woo won the first and third prizes by having Brock Lesnar, the winner of the Rumble, and third prize for guy who eliminates the most wrestlers by having Chris Jericho.

Jeff Styga won the guy who lasts longest with RVD who came in 12th, and left 26th, 14 spots later. The closest guy was Chris Jericho who came in at number 2, and left at number 14.

Yours truly won the crappiest team, with the stellar grouping of Nowinski, Dreamer, Cena, Booker T, and Maven. I managed exactly 1 elimination when Booker T managed to eliminate Eddie Guerrerro. Jeff had the nerve to argue that his team was worse, but the stats back up my argument, come on, tell me how a team could be crappier than mine?!?

Here’s all the Rumble stats:

Order of entry: 1: Shawn Michaels, 2: Chris Jericho, 3: Chris Nowinski, 4: Rey Mysterio, 5: Edge, 6: Christian, 7: Chavo, 8: Tajiri, 9: Bill Demott, 10: Tommy Dreamer, 11: RVD, 13: Matt Hardy, 14: Eddie Guerrerro, 15: Jeff Hardy, 16: Rosey, 17: Test, 18: Cena, 19: Charlie Haas, 20: Rikishi, 21: Jamal, 22: Kane, 23: Sheldon Benjamin, 24: Booker T, 25: A-Train, 26: Maven, 27: Goldust, 28: Batista, 29: Lesnar, 30: Taker.

Order of elimination: 1: Shawn Michaels (by Jericho), 2: Christopher Nowinski (by Mysterio), 3: Mysterio (by Jericho), 4: Demott (by Edge), 5: Dreamer (by Jericho and Christian), 6: Tajiri (by Jericho), 7: B2 (by Edge), 8: Chavo (by Edge), 9: Christian (by Jericho), 10: Edge (by Edge), 11: Jeff Hardy (by RVD), 12: Rosey (by Kane), 13: Eddie (by Booker T), 14: Jericho (by Test), 15: Goldust (by Charlie Haas), 16: Booker T (by Benjamin), 17: Test (by Batista), 18: Rikishi (by Batista), 19: Haas (by Lesnar), 20: Benjamin (by Lesnar), 21: Matt Hardy (by Lesnar), 22: Cena (by Taker), 23: Jamal (by Taker), 24: Maven (by Taker), 25: A-Train (by Kane and RVD), 26: RVD (by Kane), 27 Batista (by Taker), 28: Kane (by Taker), 29: Taker (by Lesnar).

Most Outs:

Jericho: 6

Taker: 5

Lesnar: 4

Kane: 3

Batista: 3

Edge: 3

RVD: 2

Booker T: 1

Test: 1

Haas: 1

Benjamin: 1

Rey: 1

Christian 1


Team Benson: Chavo, Test, Jamal, Benjamin, Taker

Eliminations: 7

Team Curtis: Edge, Christian, Tajiri, Eddie G, A-Train

Eliminations: 4

Team Darkside: Chris Nowinski, Tommy Dreamer, John Cena, Booker T, Maven

Eliminations: 1

Team Josh: Rey Mysterio, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Charlie Haas, Batista

Eliminations: 5

Team Jeffro: Bill Demott, RVD, Rosey, Rikishi, Kane

Eliminations: 5

Team Woo Tang: Michaels, Jericho, B2, Goldust, Lesnar

Eliminations: 10


Pocket PC User Agent Strings

Pocket PC User Agent Strings

Here is a Pocket PC User Agent String for PHP which will allow a user to be redirected to the PPC version of a site: Just needs to be modified to .asp (and of course the PPC website needs to be created).



if (stristr($ua, “Windows CE”) or stristr($ua, “AvantGo”) or stristr($ua, “Mazingo”) or stristr($ua, “Mobile”) or stristr($ua, “T68”) or stristr($ua, “Syncalot”))
header (“Location: $location”);



Gettin’ Geeky With It

What I am about to write here is really meant for me, and just for me…see that’s one of the cool things about this whole “Tales From The Darkside” thing is that a lot of this stuff is really just for me, but others sometimes find it useful, enlightening, or just plain fun.

These are a few links for stuff that I’m working on at right now. I’m totally re-vamping our HELP section, and these are things that I want to remember.

The Web Standards Project has a terrific piece on why someone should upgrade to a newer browser. It’s not condascending at all, and it really makes some decent sense.

Windows Media Players links to all of the various players for various browsers/Operating systems. Also there is a good section on Why we use Windows Media Player

WMP and Netscape 6 a good article on why Netscape 6 sometimes doesn’t work with WMP.

Just for me

Of course I’m in the process of re-vamping HeadsDown and I’m doing a little online research for that too…

Greymatter Forum more stuff about GreyMatter, the basis for HeadLines.

Digital Web Online Magazine an online magazine devoted to web designers.

CSS Layout Techniques for Fun and Profit has some very cool stuff on fluid web design.