70 Minute Review of The Phantom Menace

Ooooo, Foreshadowing!
Ooooo, Foreshadowing!

Okay, we all know that The Phantom Menace was a bad movie. But WHY was it a bad movie? This dude explores the minute details of what sucked over the course of seven 10 minute clips…and they’re fascinating, while still being funny (inappropriate, curse filled in some points, but freaking hilarious).

Part 1: The characters and the lack of connection with an audience.  There was no protagonist, the bad guys have no motives, the good guys behave like bad guys, and it’s generally a mess written by an 8 year old.


Part 2: The Story, it’s overly complex, mindnumbingly boring, filled with dumb action scenes which were there just to satisfy the fanboys. There’s a hilarious interlude at about 6:42 of this one as well that I totally wasn’t expecting.


Part 3: The Plot, holes so big you can drive a truck through the freaking thing.


Part 4: Invasion! Forcing someone to sign a treaty kind of defeats the purpose of a treaty in the first place.


Part 5: Qui Gon Jin is the REAL Phantom Menace, where he explains how to make both Qui Gon and Obi Wan both better by simply combining the two characters into a new character called “Obi-Wan Kenobi”.


Part 6: Please God make it stop, make it end! The ridiculous plot holes continue including the Jedi saying they will find who the new Sith are, and then end up telling Qui Gon and Obi-Wan to go find the Sith. The stupid, meaningless, over-choreographed lightsabre battles (and how the fight between Vader and Luke in Return of the Jedi is brilliant).


Part 7: The Ending Multiplication Effect. I had never considered before that the first movie has one ending, Luke blows up the Death Star. Empire has two endings, Luke confronts Vader while the rest of them escape from Cloud City. Return of the Jedi sees Luke confront the Emperor, while Han, Leia, and Chewie are on Endor destroying the Shield Generator, and Lando and the rest of the rebels then run the mission to destroy the Death Star. The Phantom Menace has FOUR endings!