In order to see Spider-Man with my wife, I will be forced to see “The Notebook” first because apparently we’re a quart low when it comes to “girl movies” right now.DAMN YOU Hollywood. Damn you all to hell. You put out films such as “Mean Girls” when there’s nothing else on, and I can’t use it as leverage to go see something as totally geeky as “Spider-Man”, instead you wait until the height of summer to release your estrogen fest.

I swear to god, I draw the line at Reece Witherspoon period pieces.