Another year, another Royal Rumble, and finally, FINALLY the rolls come my way, and I walk away with the winning team of Chris Benoit, Edge, Renee Dupree, Simon Dean, and the big man himself…Batista. Not only that, but for the second year in a row, the winner of the rumble eliminated the most superstars, making me the big winner from last night, and taking all of the cheese.
The coveted, and much sought after bacon prize was quite literally snapped from the victorious lap of Jeffro and placed in the hands of Benson, who proceeded to whoop and holler, proclaiming his love for the pig.
Jeff, who once again made a solid case for bacon-ness, was thwarted when Nunzio’s spot was stolen, much like Jeff’s bacon, by former WrestleMania Main Eventer, Royal Rumble winner, former King of the Ring, former Inter-Continental, WWE, and Undisputed champion Kurt Angle, who improved the overall suckitude of Jeff’s Jobbers to such unparalleled heights that we had no choice but to award the bacon prize to Benson.
The teams broke down as such:
Brian’s Best Effort
18 Simon Dean, 7 Edge, 28 Batista, 17 Renee Dupree, 29 Christian, 2 Chris Benoit
It was pretty cool seeing Benoit and Guerrero, the two guys who at last ‘Mania were champions, starting this match off.
Erzey’s Fearsome Five
1 Eddie Guerrero, 5 Hurricane, 27 Kane, 23 Viscera, 11 Jericho, 8 Rey Mysterio
Larry’s Legendary Legion
19 Shawn Michaels, 16 Charlie Haas, 14 Orlando Jordan, 25 John Cena, 30 Ric Flair, 9 Shelton Benjamin
Larry’s group had maybe the most gold of any team on Sunday night.
3 Daniel Puder, 21 Johnathon Coachman, 20 Curt Angle, 24 Paul London, 4 Hardcore Holly, 22 Mark Jindrak
The united jobbers of Benson
13 Muhammad Hussan, 15 Scotty 2 Hotty, 10 Booker T, 12 Luther Reigns, 6 Kenzo Suzuki, 26 Gene Snitsky
Interstingly Benson’s team may have had the shortest actual in-ring time. Hussan, in a show of outright racism by the gathered WWE stars, was eliminated within seconds of entering the ring. Hussan then eliminated Scotty 2 Hotty before he could even enter the ring. Snitsky was taken out shortly after entering, and Suzuki was sixth in and fourth out. As a matter of fact, every single one of Benson’s entrants were eliminated earlier than their number. Hussan in 13, out 5th, Scotty in 15th, out 6th, Booker in 10, out 9th, Luther in 12th, out 7th, Kenzo in 6th, out 4th, Snitsky in 26th, out 22nd.
Thoughts for next year;
A weighted bacon system, with each participant being worth a pre-determined amount of bacon from one through five strips. The winner with the most bacon would win the overall bacon. This of course means that the grand prize winner could indeed win all of the marbles.
With the last two years winners getting all the marbles, we should consider counting all of a team’s eliminations towards the eliminations pot.