Kimbo vs Big Country

I’ve been pretty jazzed about tonight’s “Ultimate Fighter” ever since last week’s show.  The entire season has been built around Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson, even though he’s hardly the strongest fighter on the series.  He’s definately the most marketable.  The favourite to win right now is Roy “Big Country” Nelson, so of course when Rashad Evans got control of the matchmaking, he put his man Nelson up against Rampage Jackson’s Kimbo.

It’s with that in mind that I asked Kaylin what her pick was.

“Hmmm, I think Kimbo will win. Is that hug fighting daddy?” – yes darling, it is indeed the hug fighting.

So with Kimbo as the household favourite, I thought I’d set out to do a round-by-round blow-by-blow report ala my old TSN.ca wrestling reports.

To quote Mike Goldberg. And…here…we…GO!

This fight is brought to you by Syntha-6 Protein powder – the late night snack of heavyweights everywhere.

Roy Nelson is out first, to quote Big Daddy Donnie, he’s cut like a bag of milk.

Up next is Kimbo, and the man is the genetic opposite of Big Country, he’s a spectacular specimen.

Okay…seriously. This commercial for “The Men who Stare at Goats” is spectonkular. It looks incredible.

And after ages of commercials…we’re up!

The Tale of the tape, Slice is 35, Nelson’s 32, and Nelson’s got 30lbs on Slice.

1st round: They come out and Nelson takes a couple of jabs, Slice looks good on his feet, but for the first 20 seconds he doesn’t throw a punch, while Nelson’s jabbing, and tossing lefts.  Kimbo lands a nice thigh kick, but no damage. Nelson’s content to stand, and he takes a couple of jabs to the chin. Nelson with a nice flury of jabs, Kimbo retaliates, but Nelson grapples to put an end to the assault. Kimbo’s balance is really good, but Nelson has Kimbo pinned to the cage where he can’t do any damage.  Nelson has double underhooks and he’s controlling Slice. Nelson gets Slice down, and is threatening mount.  Kimbo’s got guard, but Nelson powers through it.  Side control by Nelson, and nice punches to his head.  Kimbo explodes out, and almost gets through.  Nelson has Kimbo in a crucifix, and he’s nailing Slice with unanswered shots with 16 seconds to go.  Referee Herb Dean is telling Kimbo he needs to fight, every one of these shots is unanswered, and Kimbo can’t do a damn thing.  Dean should have called it.

The end rounds and I score it 10-9 for Nelson

Round 2: Kimbo dodged a bullet there. He better come out strong or his UFC career is over before it’s begun. This time it’s slice who comes out with the jab, he’s looking for the angle, but he’s standing straight on, and two quick shots to Nelson rocks him.  Nelson takes Kimbo down, and is immediately in side control.  This is pretty much the same position Nelson had Kimbo in last round.  Nelson’s stepping over Kimbo’s arm…but Kimbo avoids it.  Nelson’s going for an arm bar, he’s got punches landing, now he’s stepped over Kimbo’s arm…this is all but over.  Yep, done. Big Country just owned Kimbo Slice.

The fight ended with a ref stoppage in favour of Roy Nelson.

This wasn’t a great fight. It was okay, but Nelson didn’t fight to win it, he Tim Sylvia’ed it and fought not to lose. He wasn’t unleashing a torrent of massive shots, he just punched a bit. He never had Kimbo in threat of a submission (which is supposed to be Nelson’s game), and his stand up was pretty weak.

Dayna says “Roy did just enough to win and not get hit.”, and then later “One thing we’ve learned from The Ultimate Fighter is it’s not over until it’s over, and Kimbo might end up back in there.”…I don’t think that’s the last of Kimbo Slice in the UFC.

I’m pretty sure Kimbo will be back before the end of the season, and even if he’s not…Dayna’s got a ton of respect for him, and we’ll see him in a few shows.